Under the direction of 3 Media Web’s Director of Business Operations, Stephanie Smith, our clients can now pay for the services of 3 Media Web and our team and resources using a new currency: Cadbury eggs.
For the sake of diversification, we will accept all forms of Cadbury eggs: creme eggs, caramel eggs, and chocolate creme eggs. We’ll even accept mini eggs (in double quantities, of course).
Here’s why we’ve added this new lucrative and exciting payment option for our expert website design and award-winning website support services
Why We’re So Egg-cited About Our New Currency
There was some initial resistance to this new business decision. Our CEO, Jessica Hennessey, for example, was shocked. “Why would we be accepting chocolate eggs?” she asked. “Kinder chocolate is so much tastier.”
Smith assured Hennessey that German chocolate would be harder to acquire, leading to cash flow (now called “egg flow”) issues and would not hold up as a stable store of value as chocolate eggs. She pointed out that a bulk five-pound bag of eggs is nearly $50 on the current market. Even just a few years ago, this same bag would have cost closer to $25. Back in 1997, a large bag would have only cost around fifty cents, according to Reddit.
The Team is Coming Out of Their Shells
With this new shift in forms of payment, we’re also restructuring our team to focus on growing our cache of chocolate eggs in case of market downturns. We’ve realigned our company structure, moving away from the agency model and towards an egg-holding company structure–something that more closely resembles an Easter basket.
Our Tech Services team, for example, is now called the Egg Hunt Services team. Rather than responding to client support tickets and searching for bugs, our Egg Hunt Services team will now focus on fielding leads of bulk quantities of chocolate eggs and searching for those harder-to-find varieties that had limited runs, such as:
- Berry Creme Eggs (Only sold in Australia for a short time)
- Double Chocolate Creme Egg (Only sold in New Zealand, discontinued in the 1990s)
- Screme Egg (discontinued in 2015)
- Giant Creme Egg (discontinued in 2006)
Our New Business Strategy Can’t Be Beaten, Scrambled, or Fried
Given the current state of digital marketing and web design and the ever-changing United States economy, the 3 Media Web leadership team is sure this chocolate egg payment method and acquisition strategy are better suited to growth than an industry such as the internet–that’s a fad anyway.
There have been some concerns throughout the team about our current Cadbury cache, and many claim it is already shrinking. When asked, Smith said, “We’re definitely not going to be eating any of our precious stores of chocolate eggs, not even the caramel ones. This is a store of value, not a commodity to be eaten.”
Editor’s Note: While responding to this question, Smith was wiping chocolate from the corner of her mouth and pushing a large pile of wrappers off her desk.
Cracking On With Our New Business Focus
Of course, our clients will not experience any interruptions in our help designing, developing, and growing websites.
We have, however, already brought on several amazing clients who have decided to switch their business models towards the Cadbury chocolate egg industry, and we couldn’t be more egg-static. Manufacturing clients are retooling their assembly lines, while biotech companies are devoting their research grants to developing a way to stuff more creme or caramel filling into each egg.
If you have a lead on large quantities of chocolate eggs or maybe one of the harder-to-find varieties, contact our Director of Business Operations, Stephanie Smith. She has assured the team she will forward any leads or information to the right team.